straight person: but how do you Know when someone around you is gay?
me: today in yoga class our instructor said “this exercise is about being straight” and i immediately said “i’ve never been good at that” and only one (1) woman laughed. she had four piercings in her ears. what else do you need me to tell you
it’s that time of year…. let this serve as your official reminder that dia de los muertos is not an extension of halloween. it’s a very important holiday meant to celebrate and honor the loved ones that are no longer with us. it’s not there for you to probe and pick from for your spooky gothic aesthetic. participate by sharing stories of your loved ones, cleaning off/sprucing up their headstones, and/or placing marigolds in your home so their spirits can find you - not by wearing our culture as a costume. keep their memory alive but keep the appropriation of dia de los muertos at bay !
I like in the Fellowship of the Rings where they are standing outside the big ass door with the riddle “Speak friend and enter” thing.
And then they’re like, what’s friend in elvish and Legolas just stands there and says nothing.
Frodo: *looks at Gandalf*
Everyone else: *looks at Legolas*
Legolas: [internally] fuck you, in Eregion they spoke a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT kind of elvish, I grew up with like ten different dialects of silvan, this word is pronounced differently in every one of them, this sindarin and my sindarin probably wouldn’t even be a little bit compatible, who fucking knows the door might want it in Quenya, you know what it’s probably in Khuzdul, that’s the kind of language you’d want a password to be in, the one nobody knows, fuck they’re all looking at me I don’t know this there are dozens of different languages spoken by elves you stupid fucks
Legolas: [externally] silence
Gandalf: “…Mellon”
Everyone: *thinks Legolas is stupid*
This is officially one of my favorite tumblr posts.
*young republican voice* i don’t see why my rich, rich, rich rich rich, rich rich rich rich, so fucking rich, father should have to pay for poorer boys school lunches. he could spend that money on a racism machine
People need to realize that there’s a difference between straight people and Straight People™
Straight person: Hey, you got a new haircut. Looks really good.
Straight Person™: No homo, but your haircut looks good on you.
In case you were confused 👌
Just like how there are white people who are gay and then there are the White Gays
White people who are gay: “I’m gay.”
White Gays: “I can’t believe I got accused of racism after calling that person a racial slur! I mean, I know what racism looks like because I’ve been discriminated for my sexuality. How is me being racist even possible? I’M GAY!”
Lmao all the angry White and Straight people in the comments, keep reblogging
neurotypical: i don’t have any mental illnesses or disorders Neurotypical™: Happiness is a choice!! ✨✨Have you tried yoga? Drink more water and eat kale ✨✨
cis person: i identify completely as my assigned gender
Cis Person™: It doesn’t matter what you identify as, cause you still have Female Genitals! I’m not being offensive!! Read a book on Human Biology! 🚹🚺
men: I identify as male.
Men™: feminazis ruin everything, get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich bitch
atheists: I don’t believe in god or identify with a religion
Atheists™: Don’t fucking talk to me if you believe in God. Open your closed-fucking-minds!! (usually targeted towards Christians)
nice guys: hey I know when not to invade someone’s space and I totally respect boundaries
Nice Guys™: IVE BEEN YOUR FRIEND FOR A MONTH AND NOW YOURE TELLING ME YOU DONT WANT TO FUCK ME ???? WHAT IS THE POINT OF WOMEN IF YOURE NOT HAVING SEX WITH ME?
this post got all kinds of better since I last saw it
This post is perfection across the board.
feminist: I believe in equality for everything between the sexes
Feminist™: ALL MEN ARE ASSHOLES AND SHOULD DIE! WE DONT NEED ANY OF THEM ANYWAYS AND THEY NEVER DO ANYTHING GOOD FOR US!!
Christian: I believe in God and his son Jesus
Christian™: We must Obey Bible In Everything and Take It Literally and if you don’t do it you’re Going To Hell! I’m praying for you to find God and have your sins Forgiven! Other religions are from Satan and So Is Atheism!
Me: I get my PhD so I can make reservations at fancy restaurants under “Dr. & Mrs.” then when they expect a man to show up, my gay ass will stroll in instead: hot intellectual wife on my arm. She’s wearing a cocktail dress & is also a doctor. Im smoking a Cuban cigar. their heteronormative wigs is snatched…
